This is something I wrote a few years back, either right before I broke up with my ex or right after. Its in need of some work, but its something so I figured I'd post it. It was rediscovered thanks to my friend Somaliyah. I'm torn as to whether I should leave it as is as a character study or work on it some more and make it into a full fledged story. I'll probably end up doing some work on it either way to really make it into a rounder person..

I haven't given up.

I felt like it was important to let people know that if anyone has actually read this since its inception, or stumbles upon it by some chance some day.. I'm still around and what not. I just decided to momentarily take my writing process in a different direction.

Why would I start this blog and then change the way I write?

I guess it comes down to a lot of things. For the past however many years I've had access to a computer, I've been taking my writing there first, writing page by page as it comes to me...and I've realized that doesn't really work. I don't become invested in the people I'm writing, or the story I'm creating for them that way. I don't finish the stories as a result. I don't know what my characters want for breakfast, or their family trees, or whats going on in their head at any given moment...and if I do, it's because I'm writing someone who either closely resembles me or someone else I've gotten acquainted with enough to be inside their head.

I need to grow as a writer. So I decided to buy myself a new journal at work...partially because it's cute and red and soft and awesome, but also because of all I've heard of the benefits of writing something down with your own two hands before transferring it onto a screen, and I do have to say, that kinda thing has worked decently for me in the past, and it's working really well now too, when I actually have the time to sit and write.

I carry it everywhere with me...and the first and only story I have in it so far is preceded by pages and pages of notes and ideas and questions I have about my characters in an attempt to really get under their skin and flesh them, and the circumstances surrounding them out. Do I know that this will definitely yield my desired results? Not at all...but I figure its worth a shot. This is something I really want to work on for myself and the only way to do it is to give it my best shot in all directions.

I also haven't been writing in here because of time constraints, along with insecurities and laziness. I have a few rough things written in saved blogs...but they're somewhat autobiographical and as I'd like to shy away from those things a bit, I haven't posted them yet. That doesn't mean I will or won't...I'm trying to figure out the apropriateness of posting them. They reveal sides of me I'm not sure I want the public at large to see...partially because I'm choosing to exaggerate them for my own literary purposes and I just don't know if people will completely get that...and I really don't want to end up getting egged every day as I leave my house. Not really the best way to show up to work you know?

So once my story is finished in my little red journal...it'll be in here for your reviewing pleasure. Maybe I'll toss in a few more character studies, and autobiographical stories disguised as character studies and vice versa for any readers' viewing pleasure. I can only hope someone enjoys or despises my writing enough to actually make a comment one of these days.

No more trains!

I REAAAALLLLY need to make a point of not writing about train rides anymore.
Honestly, whens the last time I wrote something that didn't involve a girl riding on a train of some sort?

For the record..the previous story wasn't meant to be a "story" as such as it was a glimpse inside the mind of someone who happens to be riding the train. It was an exercise on my part in attempting to create a person that isn't just a flat set of character traits but instead a person with thoughts, ideas, feelings and prejudices..But I wrote about her having all those things on a train and thus it bothers me.

The train trend started in highschool, and despite the fact that I no longer even ride the T except out of absolute necessity or sheer laziness it seemingly is still so ingrained in me that I'd go so far as to accidentally write a story based upon a train ride.

It's easy to do something like that when you think of it. There's rarely a train ride when I don't encounter some kind of awkward or amusing or scary character who could either be a story in themselves, or cause the kind of thoughts that allow someone elses character to show through, such as I tried to do in my previous entry. There are lots of things to describe and a lot of different ways you can go with it...but in that way it's also kind of a cop out.

I don't really like "Evelyn" of my prior post. I also don't like the people I put around her on the train because they're so flat. I mean how believable is it really that a college aged guy...even if he were drunk, would sit on a train by himself serenading a random girl with don't stop believin? (which happens to be an awesome song despite my earlier description of it by the way...remember, thats the way evelyn thinks, not me). I think it'd be more believable if he had an entourage and they were all kinda singing it..or if they were egging him on or making fun of him or something. Who knows? I'll have to go back over it...maybe I'll edit it from the post itself. Any criticism that anyone might have is more than welcome. Just toss a comment on there and tear it to shreds. I won't get any better if I don't have an idea of what I'm doing wrong. Imight cry my heart out and call you heartless and cruel and what not...but I'll thank you in the end too.

Today's lesson though...no more trains. I can't write anything with trains in it for at least 3 months, unless absolutely necessary.